Liam! The 80's were sort of weird, yes, but they weren't nearly as bad as the 70's. The 70's was the decade of divorce, the decade in which everyone who hadn't tried drugs in the 60's tried them, and a special time for grown-ups to explore their own headspace without worrying too much about the kids. I know so many people who've admitted to being their own babysitters in the 70's that it must have been a cultural norm, and when little kids are left alone, all sorts of bad things can happen. Plus there was the Vietnam war, a recession, an oil shortage, and, as the cherry on top, Richard M. Nixon.

The 80's lacked the dramatic social changes of the previous two decades so in comparison they do seem kind of boring. Reagan was weird, yes. He was an actor, and that's just wrong. I sometimes think of 80's as the last gasp of white-person pop culture: MTV, monster trucks, panty hose, power ballads, Tammy Faye Baker--all were made for and by white people, a notoriously boring group. And the lack of social upheaval revealed something else that I, at least, had forgotten about during the 70's: the Cold War was still going on! Ouch. You know the way people talk now, about how they're going to raise chickens and live on lichen after the weird global warming shit hits the fan? It was like that then, but with nuclear bombs instead.

But there was good stuff in the 80's too: Prince, the Cars, ponytails on the tops of girls' heads, big boobs (mysteriously out of style for the previous 20 years), snail mail, 321 Contact, and other stuff. I'm sure there's a lot more. I just can't think of it right now.

Hi Steve. That's a great idea! The only problem is that this forum doesn't exist to make you feel better about yourself, it exists to make me feel better about you feeling better about yourself, whether you do or not. Also, I'm not exactly human, in the technical sense.

Natalie, I support you! I throw my support at you, I fling it, I use a slingshot and a catapult. Please watch your head.

By shaving your head. I actually don't keep it real by shaving my head, I keep it real by thinking of the scene in Clueless where Cher's boyfriend is shaving his head and saying, "I'm just keeping it real. I'm just keeping it real."

Thanks shirlybeans! You are nice, smart, and pretty. I'm intrigued by the self-imposed rock in Asia. For your trip to Tucson, I recommend you have dinner at El Guero Canelo. You have to go to the one on S. 12th Ave. (there are two, but this one's in the Mexican part of town). It's sort of like an elaborate snack bar with a big covered porch. It's a great time of year to eat outside, and on the weekends they have a band playing accordion music and sometimes little kids run around and dance. You might want to try the house specialty, the Sonoran hot dog, a hot dog on a bun covered with salsa and cheese and sour cream and beans and mayonnaise and mustard and jalapenos and more.

Another great thing to do in Tucson is to go to the Desert Museum and see the raptor free flight, but I think it may be over for the season (the "season" is winter), but you should check. The Desert Museum is really a zoo/botanical garden combo, and it's nice there even without the raptors, especially if you haven't seen much of the desert before, but if it's hot most of the animals will be asleep and you will get sunburned and it's hard to beat the thrill of watching trained hawks fly over your head, then land on some lady's gloved hand and eat a dead baby mouse. Dead baby mouse? Dead baby mouse.

So, David Sedaris is reading at the Tucson Music Hall where I've spent many hours trying to amuse myself. Outside, surrounding the polar bear tank, there's an ever-proliferating array of public art, most of which glows, and you might want to take two or three minutes to contemplate it. You also might want to take a few minutes to contemplate the polar bear tank, which is not actually a polar bear tank but a public fountain with perplexing aesthetic qualities--it it ugly or beautiful or ugly-beautiful or beautiful-ugly or kitschy perfect or just wrong? No one can decide and it is a great mystery. Then, inside the lobby, it's kind of fun to put your head inside the big indentations running the length of the cast concrete walls. There's a weird acoustic effect in there, like a chorus of monster voices, at least when the lobby is bustling. Duck your head in and out to get the full effect. Also, there are an intriguing number of ancient cobwebs inside--it's like it's own ecosystem. You may feel self-conscious when you do this, but in my experience no one will be looking at you (though I'm usually in the Music Hall for Tucson Symphony concerts, when all the patrons are treading carefully so as not to break a hip).

Yes, I think learning to draw animals will help with your writing! Absolutely. It's always good to look at anything carefully, and to have another art form to flee to when the writing one is driving you insane. Plus, animals inspire feelings of tenderness and love and will make your writing cuter.

Thanks for your encouragement, Marketing mama. I like how you throw around the phrase "generate some revenue." I've thought about the same thing but like almost everything else I think about, I haven't done anything about it. I do know a brilliant marketing person here but whenever I see her she's drunk. Maybe I should try to catch her earlier in the day.

Teacher's Pet,

I love so many books and stories that it's very hard to zero in on a short list. A few of the short stories that have amazed and obsessed me for many years are "Gimple the Fool," by Isaac Bashevis Singer, "A Hunger Artist," by Franz Kafka, "Good Country People," by Flannery O'Connor, and "A Distant Episode," by Paul Bowles. There are many, many more.

I don't really have a favorite author because there are so many wonderful books. The best I can do is to mention a few authors I've been reading and loving lately: John Updike, W.G. Sebald, and Roberto Bolano.

I'm sure I have more favorite movies but right now I can only think of two: The Night of the Hunter and The Shining.

I don't read any blogs regularly because I haven't found any I like that much.

Dear Dr. Forbes,

You're right, I did anticipate it, but I don't really think of it as a devolution. I like giving dating advice. Our social lives are vital to us; even if we can arrange to spend our days curled up under the furniture (which is where I'd prefer to be), we still spend all night dreaming about our social connections. Also, answering dating questions feeds into my evil plan, which is to fuck with people's lives via the internet. I would like to make it a regular gig. Are you hiring?

The long form fiction is going well. It's taken me a really long time but I think I'm finally starting to figure it out.

No.

It sounds confused and confusing. One thing is clear though: he's spazzing out. I'm wondering if your "actually a really very nice time" means somebody got slept with, a little bit? Sometimes guys panic after that--you know, men and their emotions. Still, even with the flowers and all, he doesn't really sound that nice. He did do that weird thing where he got drunk or something and you had to drive him home. So I wouldn't let the nicer man goal cloud your judgment; you just need to see if you can get to know him in a normal way so you can figure out if you like him. I suggest you call him and tell him that he's distracting you with the message barrage, and that you had a nice time on your last date but all you really want to do now is get to know him in a normal way at a reasonable pace, because this is what you're comfortable with. You have a right to be comfortable with men, About men. He's making you uncomfortable, and that's a problem, though I think it's safe to say that he's trying to be romantic, despite the fact that his social radar is defective.

In my opinion, the healthy-relationship thing to do is to give him a clear, firm, friendly message to spaz it down. This way, you give him the opportunity to stop bugging you, and you get to see if he's capable of acting more normal upon request. He may or may not be able to, I don't know. But the clearer you are, the better. Try something like this: "Let's go out next Friday, Mr. Flowers. I can see that you like me but being showered with this much attention at this stage of our friendship makes me nervous. However, I'm fine with seeing you once a week, at the moment, and maybe talking on the phone once too. Or send me a few texts. And then we'll see how it goes."

If he persists after that, you're going to need a restraining order.