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Sorry, Rabbi. I hate to disappoint a rabbi. It should be fixed soon. Sorry also I haven't answered any questions for a few days--I have a terrible virus and I'm going back to sleep now.
Stacey, what is the fastest land animal?
I believe it's the cheetah.
Do you have any advice for young writers? Thank you.
Yes, Chrysalis, I do. My best advice to young writers is that they get other people to move heavy objects for them. Seriously--hire a mover, even if you can't afford it, or at least get some beefy citizens to lug your furniture for you. People who sit all the time (such as young writers) do not have strong backs, and once you screw up your back it may never be entirely unscrewed.
Have I ever told you that you're my literary heart throb? Rikki Ducornet is #2 (she could never replace you), and I was struck almost dumb with joy when I saw that Fairy Tale Review had both of you in one issue!
Oh, that's sweet. You're mine too. Now I have to run and read the Rikki Ducornet story right away. I bet I could kick her ass in Boggle!
A decorating question: I was thinking of doing my bedroom over. Should I beware of being overly matchy-matchy? There's a fabric I like but I don't want to overdo it and use it everywhere.
Leela, matchy-matchy can be very charming. My 100 year old grandmother's guest bedroom has matching bedspreads, curtains, and an upholstered chair. It's so...unified, and creepy. Matchy matchy-ness can impart a strange, old-timey feeling to a room, a feeling of trying too hard, obsessiveness, and excessive femininity. Consider the possibility that this is a good thing. You could also make a dress to match.
Better: Sweet kumquats or sour kumquats? (Hint: the correct answer is sour)
Sweet and sour kumquats with jasmine rice.
Am I a good person? Will anyone ever love me? What does the future hold? Is the earth doomed?
Yes. Yes. I don't know. Yes.
I know this is kind of a dumb question, but how did you write "The Long Hall"? Where did it come from? I read the story last week and I can't stop thinking about it. Maybe my new favorite ever. I can't explain. It just has everything I've always wanted in a short story. Also, if you don't mind two questions in one: I have a friend who has just begun a new career as a film reviewer. Since you seem entirely proud of your stint with the Weekly Wire, can you offer him any advice?
Hi Lukey G. Thanks so much for your kind words. It can be really difficult to say where a story comes from (or embarrassing), but I do know that "The Long Hall" sprang out of a sad feeling I had on a trip to Colorado where I saw a lot of dying trees, victims of the ongoing bark beetle infestation of the west. It was a self-indulgent sad feeling--or maybe a flashback--about how I used to think about boys when I was younger. With longing and dread, I guess. Then the trees and the boys joined up and became the idea for the story. Along with sadness. Isn't that a girly answer? Feelings, Lukey. It came from feelings.
As for your friend, the trick to surviving three or more movies a week without having a breakdown is to avoid romantic comedies.
Stacey, what makes a good byline name? I've been considering hiding my gender with my name, cause I'm hoping it'll get me published. And do you like mideastern food? I make a mean arab flat bread.
Oh Rita, I'm so glad you asked. Alliteration and internal rhyme is always fun in a fake name, as is weirdness. Have you visited the random name generator? I love it. There's a link to it on the "stories" page of this website, and plenty of the names that pop up have no gender affiliation. Here's one I have written down: Preston Oelke. This one's girly but great: Carmella Mazella.
Yes, I like mideastern food.
hey stacey sorry to bother you but i cant find mikes question... whats the point of this story? ( A Case Study of Emergency Room Procedure...)
Sean, what's the point of your question? Are you asking me for help with your homework? Just scroll down a little, or search for the word "mike." I don't mind helping you but you're only going to get a sarcastic answer if your question remains as vague as what's the point of the story.